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I DO HAVE A RL LIFE

BELIEVE ME

11/15/09 11:45 pm - What do you dream about?

Sometimes dreams are really strange. Especially this time, my subconscious created really really strange stories and worlds.
This time, I dreamed taht I'm an Aliens of the District 9 movie *-*. Mankind and aliens were in a huge war between the species. I was, as told, an alien. A really REALLY cool alien. I was the leader of some kind of a speciel unit of the aliens. Everyone in my unit was able to fly...everyone but me. But anyways, I was a really cool and big alien. Just like Optimus Prime! Hulk! BATMAN!
Me and my unit were forced to escape a tiny little human known as the "Alien Prisoner". He didn't kill the aliens when he caught them, he inprisoned them in tiny, dark and humid prisoncells were every alien would be doomed to wait till they die of starvation. The Alien Prisoner was a really small and old man, probably around 65-70 years old. He was dressed up just like a cowboy, brandishing his whip everywhere around. And he groused all the time! One of my six people where caught by the Alien Prisoner, and it made me really really sad.
Nearly, I was inprisoned by that old fat man as well, his red cheeks scared the crap out of me, allthough he somehow looked like santa. I managed to escape from him, just like my companions: By flying! In that moment, I just learned to fly!

....And in the next part, I suddenly was a 9 year old, little, cute boy who somehow became a paladin. I was riding on a cute little lavender unicorn. Her name was Leonie and she somehow had some kind of impaired balance because she fell over all the time. BUT I loved her <3 Together we were ment to save my friend Fridolin who was somehow utterly ill...but I don't know if we really managed to save him because I woke up.

SOMETIMES...I LOVE my subconscious.

10/25/09 07:13 pm - GAH! So stupid!

I left my notebook (conventional one, not the computer one :/) in school....;__; beneath a desk in a room that is used by thousands and thousand of classes per day. So....I may never ever see it again ;__, And I'm not able to just drive to school by bike and get my book back because
1.: I have to work all day until thursday (where I'll have to go to school to get some education)
2.: My school is about 35 km away from my home so I can't get there that simply since I stil don't have a driving license (that's mostyl money's fault...) ;__;
So I guess I'll have to hope that I'll get it back somehow in thursday >__> That's why I hate my brain...I tend to forgett everything, evn if I just thought about it TWO SECONDS AGO as in case of said notebook u__u

Other thing:
I'm going to meet my grandmother from bavaria which I never met before because my dad left his home very early and didn't have any contact to his family any more since that day until we got in contact to each other somehow in may 2009 *-* My mom says she'll be driving to bavaria on 27th november 2009, that's her birthday to visit her mother-in-law <3 And MY new grandma! <33

And I have some sketches you may want to see...it's not that much since I really really lost any muse to draw or paint some months ago. Allthough I'm starting to find it again.


"50 cm - It's all about technique!"




Panthera Leo Ignis

"All lions are cats. And all cats are lions."


Speedpaint in photoshop, about 45 minutes. ...I wanted to try something new, and it worked, thehe <33



9/30/09 04:41 pm - School....(?)

Did you ever went to school...and had to ask yourself, why you're there? Because all of the subject material is WAY behind your level of education? Because they teach things, that are just so enormously SIMPLE that you lerned them in school several years ago? ...And that you are simply not challenged enough, and ou are sitting around in school being bored? Being UTTERLY bored?!
I AM.
I never thought the day would come I experience this >__>
But first, let me begin:
Since 7th August 2009, I'm going to this design related school. In germany, it's called "Fachabitur". And since this is difficult to translate, here's what my dictionary says: "vocational baccalaureate diploma (school-leaving examination, enabling students to study at a Fachhochschule or certain subjects at university)". So. if I passed this school for two years, I'll be able to study graphics desing, architecture, product design, etc. So I thought I might find some kind of intellect. Even just a LITTLE bit.
But...
No.
They're just.....ugh...DUMB >_> Asking the teacher questions like "Oh noes! the ink cartrige of my pen is empty! What should I do???"
You may call me bitch, but they ARE! .....On the other hand, I have to say, all of my classmates are loveable <3 Everyone is very kind and cool.
BUT...they're just dumb u__u. It's like they even don't know how to remove simple brackets in math?! Things, you learn when you're...pff...13? Even earlier!, they just DON'T KNOW. Like 2*(3 - 5). That really isn't THAT difficult, isn't it?! BUT: THEY JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO CALCULATE THOSE DAMN EASY TERMS.
Or english lessons:
....We....talk about...grammar. SIMPLE grammar. Like: "When do I use the gerund?" ?!?!!! In german it's the same >__> Honestly..surely I'm not that much of a grind..BUT:..even I want to have some kind of.........intellect? I go to school to LEARN something, but that's just like kindergarden?!
...Yes, I may should be happy: Better too easy than too difficult! That way, I wouldn't have to work for school that hard. YES, that's right. And partially, I AM really happy, that it is that easy. But at the same time, I'm in lack of some challange. It's just....boring. Boring, boring, boring. It's now the sixth week I'm going to this school, and still, NOTHING changed. The same dumb topics, the same dumb questions. ...I'm longing for some real education! Since I have to get up at 5 AM to even catch the bus...and then sitting 70 minutes in that bus every morning I'm going to school :/
SO:
I appreciate the loveable classmates.
I appreciate the kind teachers, who are really nice. I don't have any assholes standing in front of the class the whole lesson.
But well....I need the certificate at the end of this school to study and to get forward. So I may have to get through this. WITH boredom. At least, I have time to sketch...the whole lesson long.

9/22/09 08:59 pm - .....????????



He's gonna eat ya!!!
OM NOM NOM


9/2/09 05:57 pm - EF15

EF15...how to begin?
...First of all: It was GREAT. I met so many awesome poeple, so many wonderfull artists and had so many great experiences!
EF was both breathtaking, tiring, complicated and interesting. On one day all I wanted to do was crying, the other day I felt so happy and wonderfull that I nearly could hug everyone <333 but there were too many people!

DAY 1 at EF

After we arrived on tuesday 25th August, we all were very happy to finally be there. We, that was Me, AlectorFencer, Somewolf, Khaosdog, Tascun and Akeyla. So many awesome artists...I was really happy. AND excited, for it was my first EF, and my first convention in generall!
We registered, got our bagdes, and went down to the Artists Alley and into the room were the Art Show was supposed to take place in. Everything looked fine. The panels were put up and some artists eben were already hanging up their artwork.
I went to the Art Show Manager, telling my name and waiting for him to show me were I'm supposed to hang up my artwork at. Several months ago, when everyone had to registrate for EF on the internet, I reserved two panels for me, so I would have plenty of room to hang up my artwork. But then the Art Show Manager told me something that couldn't be: He said, that there is no "Federschein" in his database, as if I never reservated any panels moths ago on the Internet! O__O ....I didn't know what to do...whether I did something wrong while reservation, or whether EF's database just had an error in it. ...But it didn't matter what it was that made my reservation for panels fade away, it wouldn't have changed anything. So I was standing there...having plenty of stuff to hang, but without a panel, I couldn't do so.
I was really disappointed...my first turned out to be a sucking nightmare.
But THEN...
KebiJackal, AlectorFencer's boyfriend offered me to take his panel space. He said, he didn't bring any art, and so he wouldn't need the panel space he reserved for himself in any case. And I was so damn happy <33 Allthough my name was somehow erased from the database's universe I got some space for myself, yet. And being so utterly happy and euphoric, I jumped over to Kebi's panel - and even the very FIRST one you get to see when you step into the Art Show! - and I immediately started to place my art on the panel I got.
......When suddenly the Art Show Manager came to complain. -__- Really, that man was a really nice guy. And I really liked him. BUT...he said that I couldn't hang my art like this - unframed and wihtout any passepartouts, the blank art - and I just felt like: "One more thing..and I'll grab a gun and run amok!" ....I was....nerve-wracked. BUT...he was right. He said, that it is nice art I wanted to hang there, but the Art Show will be very crowded, especially when it comes to the end of EF. And with unprotected art - without frames noe passepartouts - there will be a very high risc that the art gets damaged somehow. And of course noone would want to see that happening. And so I had to hang down my art again....to FRAME it. Somehow. ...Unfortunately, all if my artworks had special formats. There was no A4, A3 or A2. And so there was no fitting frame. .....You may ask: Why didn't you frame you artwork BEFORE you went to EF???? - well...because I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY. :/ I even had to fight for money to actually GET to EF. There was no money left for me to buy frames for my artwork.
But we somehow had to find a solution....And somehow, the solution was found: Since every single piece of art of mine had a special size/format, I would have to cut fitting passepartouts out of colored cardboard. Preferably black. I had to wait two hours for someone to bring me black cardboard - yeah, I was kind of annoyed to wait for so long, but they all really did their best to keep everything rolling. But I finally got the cardboard, I immediately started cutting..or...I tried to do so. BECAUSE.........I asked for a cutter and a ruler so I could cut properly.....I got the cutter...but refering to the ruler, all they could give me was an almost straight pice of wood, with which I was supposed to cut my passepartouts. .....Not that comfortable >__> BUT...I just had to do so.
Somehow, I even managed to get my selfmade passepartouts right and they even fit really well. And additionally, my artwork looked really great sorrounded by black cardboard. I was happy, finally I could go on with hanging up my art!
And so I did.....
I did...and realized: Due to the extra space I needed due to the passepartouts sorrounding every piece of art, the space that was available on the panel didn't match for EVERY picture I wanted to show in the Art Show. Meaning: I had to hang down my ACEOs .__. AND I even had to fight to hang all of the bigger pieces. ...Unfortunately, I didn't thought of taking a photo of the panel, but let me tell you this:
Except the ACEOs, I could manage to hang every picture I wanted to hang when I arrived at EF....allthough the panel was slighty overhanged! XD
But finally, after 5 hours of hard work, I had my artwork placed on the panel...
FINISHED. Both, me and my work.
But I was happy <333 When we returned to the little holiday house we rent for the days during EF, I was happy to finally could find some rest, having a nice evening at the house together with Somewolf, AlectorFencer, Khaosdog, Akeyla, Kebi and Tascun <333

DAY 2
After getting up (Kebi, me and Alector were sleeping in an modern Tipi, 5 m diameter and 3 m tall) and having breakfast, I was forced to do some morning sports: One of Tascuns dogs - Jack Russel Terriers - stole my stress ball. I wouldn't have run behind him if it wasn't that kind of stress ball that is filled with most likely unhealthy chemicals to keep it workable. The doggie stole the stress ball, ran off with it to tear it apart. And he did...I couldn't get my stress ball back before the dog bit it into several pieces AND eat the chemical, non-healthy contents! fortunately, that.....stuff inside the stress ball was so glutinous and sticky that he didn't manage to swallow it. It just sticked on his palate and teeth. Really, fortunately. I don't know what I would have done if he really managed to eat that.....content of the stressball.
But after that we finally drove to EF. The second day.
After I made sure that my artwork is still hanging on the panel in the Art Show as it should hang there, I decided to take a walk around the hotel to take a look at everything...I saw many fursuiters, artists and generally soo many people <33
Soon, I had to print bidsheets so people could bid on the art...and that meant: creating prices for every single artwork. And I'm the worst when it comes to things like these. Seriously...I didn't have ANY suggestion of how to price my artwork! Fortunately...Khoasdog and Akeyla were around. I asked if they could help me...and they did! I was really happy to have someone arround me who has much more experience with selling art at art auction at conventions like EF than me. At this point:
MUCH thanks to both of you!
I met Brachmiros, a nice guy from austria (sometimes, I DID have problems to understand him...due to the austrian dialekt XD But it was really fun! I love the austrian dialekt <33 also the bavarian and the swabian - that's mine XD <33), Snow-Wolf, Amras and Sebi, all of them really wonderful and funny people from germany. I spent the rest of the day together with them - or mostly the rest of the day - and had much fun <33 At the end of the day I even was invited to spent a little more time with them and that I could stay at their room and sleep there. And so I did!

DAY 3
When we drove to the Hotel where EF were hold the day before, I decided to left my shoes there. It was warm and everything my feet had to kiss would be the carpet inside the hotel and the warm and clean asphalt of the streets around it.
I woke up at Snow-Wolf's and Amras' room in the hotel, got myself ready to jump into EF again and..........noticed that I couldn't find my bag any more O__O  It was that day I wrote a journal about several days ago...So you might know and I guess I won't have to write it again. I lost and found my bag...And I was so..so...SO happy. <333 The whole rest of the day I couldn't talk of anything else then how happy I am now that I found my bag <333
Later that day I watched Uncle Kage's show....AWESOMELY FUNNY! He totally matched my sense of humour! The 4 cm tall nurse! XD from the 32.340 line! Why she didn't got there in time? She missed the bus! XDD

DAY 4
Again, I slept in Snow-Wolf's and Amras' room at the hotel. Since we all were kind of exhausted due to the days before, we tried to have a calm start into the day.
I decided to look in on the Artists Alley to give AlectorFencer and Kebi a "Hey guys!" and have a little smalltalk, and to check my Art Work still hanging on the panel in the Art Show. I was darn happy when I saw, that someone bid on one of my artworks!
http://fc09.deviantart.com/fs46/f/2009/237/3/3/Forest_Dragon_by_Federschein.jpg
At least one piece of art I finally could manage to tranform into money. Allthough it kind of made me sad, the thought that I'll have to part with my art is an experience, that I barely made in my life, and it's still an two-edged feeling. On the one hand I feel sad because I'll have to give away what I once painted/drew with full amount of both my ability as an artist and my heart. But on the other hand I'm happy to get some money for it...and you know: money is important. Everyone needs it, and you'll have to watch out where to get it.
Shortly after that, we went to take a trip to the "Wildtierpark Suhl", the wild animal park in suhl togehter with Sebi, Amras and Snow-Wolf. We were able to see some wildcats, lynxes - awesome creatures and beautiful cats <333 - AND my sort of new favourite animal (beneath female lions, cheethas, hyenas, foxes, black bears, cats in general, birds and wales): European BISONS. SO damn great animals, I even wanted to climb down into their enclosure to cuddle them! ...allthough I think that one male bison wouldn't have been so comfortable with that :/ ...Only thing was, that I had to walk through the animal park WIHTOUT shoes! And there were almost everywere gravel! XD Which really hurt at the soles of my feet, especially the more time we spent in that park. BUT I managed to get through it without bleeding feet and wihtout the help of anyone who would've had to carry me :33
When we were back from the Wildtierpark Suhl we wanted to get a look in on the Artists Alley...where artists were supposed to get their money from the art sales. A long queue welcomed us as we stepped into the room...but after asking them we discovered, that the persons standing and waiting there all were people who buyed art and wanted to leave their money there to get the art in return. And that was supposed to still lastr for a couple of hours. So we decided to go to our room to watch the PawPet Show on the TV. We could have watched it live, yeah....IF we could have managed it to get into the hall early enough. Which we didn't. So we couldn't get a seat and had to watch it via TV.
After the PawPet Show we finally were able to get our money down in the Artists Alley..I was happy to finally get my money from the one picture I was able to sold! ...It wasn't that much money, BUT I was happy.
In the evening - okay...it was almost 2 AM - Sebi and I drove to the little holiday house were I left my shoes and several other things, to pick them up because the next day we intended to travel home again together with Amras and Snow-Wolf. .....And that was the moment when I finally GOT MY SHOES BACK! *________* You can't imagine..how comfortable cold, wet and dirty shoes are when you've walked over gravel all the day barefooted! I even didn't feel how cold my shoes where...because my feet were nearly as cold as ice x33 Maybe the reason why I also got the sniffles! ...wich is already, nearly gone...
Back at the hotel, I was happy to have ALL my things back...My clothes I took with me to EF, my SHOES, my BAG......and my art.
I went to the Artists Alley again to find AlectorFencer, Kebi, Khaosdog and Tascun to say Bye...
And as soon as I got in touch with the airbed on the floor I slept on while staying in Amras' and Snow-Wolf's room, I fell asleep.

DAY 5
The day of departure. We got up at 9 AM, having a shower, packing the car....having a little little bit of breakfast...and then saying "Bye!" to everyone. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the others: Somewolf, AlectorFencer, Khaosdog, Akeyla, Tascun or Kebi, to say the final Bye and wish them a bon voyage. ...But actually, I didn't want to really search for them. All I wanted, was to get HOME. HOME, sweet HOME. EF was great, really, but at some point there comes the moment where you just long for a comfortable BED and especially....your MOM XD Or close friends.
...When I finally got home..I was really, really, really happy. Happy about the things I saw, the experiences I made, the people I met...
I may not have saled as much art as I wanted to, but that's just a trivial matter. The important thing:
I KNOW I'll be on EF16 in Magdeburg next year.
I KNOW what I'll have to do (....buying frames and passepartouts for my art and begging the database not to forget me!)
I KNOW what I mustn't do (leaving my bag alone in the lobby!)
I KNOW....it was a great time. And it will be again!

So far: see you next time!

8/28/09 03:18 pm - Ef15: lost and found

Currently, I'm sitting here in Suhl at the Ringberg Hotel where EuroFurence is hold for the 15th time now.
So many people to meet...and so many great people I've already met <33
I will post an full informative entry when I'm back home, probably on sunday evening, middle european time.

But so far I can tell you:
I'm RELIEFED.
I can't tell you how HAPPY I am right now.
Yesterday, I left my bag somewhere here in the hotel. I totally forgot about it and went upstairs to sleep in my room. And then, todays morning, I woke up, searched for my bag, but I couldn't find it O__O from 10 AM to 15 PM I ran through the hotel, asking EVERYONE if he'd seen my bag..but I just couldn't find it. And I already thought about how I could manage it to get home without money.
BUT...
Five minutes ago, I asked one of the women working at the bar:
"What happens if someone leaves his or her bag alone here at the bar...?" 
"A black and blue one..? Adidas....?"
"YES! O___O"
And she gave me back my bag!  *____* And now I'm so happy...don't need no drugs, don't need no coffee...just got my bag back <3333333333333

7/29/09 07:55 pm - Dying ;__;

My graphics card is dying ;____;



Awesome Background goes to :iconjoejesus:
The RED STRIPES are NOT part of the background >__> That's my graphics card. Or to be more specific: graphics memory (if that's the right english word...not sure)

So I need a new graphics card ;__;

7/4/09 05:26 pm - Entry #6: Ripped shirt, new grandma, dead grandpa

My dog ripped my favorite shirt T__T
It was a black one, a simple cut with a mighty prowling black panther on it <33
Doggie and me were romping around and just having fun with eacht other. And then he jumped towards my back, snapped my shirt with his teeth and pulled me down. The sound of ripping cloth told me that he just ruined my favourite shirt T___T
BUT
it was an old piece of clothing, so I may not be that down XD
Most time me and my dog are playing or romping together, it looks as if we're biting each other till death XD

I got a new grandma! *__*
Let me explain:
My father left his home when he was 18 and didn't talk to his family any more. They haven't seen or even spoken to each other for about 34 years. Reason? ....well.... it seems as if the reason was my grandpa, the dad of my dad. He must have been an unbelievable big asshole. A human, terrible enough that his own son doesn't want to see him anymore and leaves his home to tramp the world. He also didn't contact his brothers, sisters and mother any more because it would mean to also speak to his father again.
So my father and his family were like dead for each other for over 30 years.
And yesterday he phoned his mum, my grandma .__. And she told him that his father is dead.
.....
And you usually mourn the dead of your father.
But they didn't.
They celebrated it. As if it was christmas. I was kind of confused when he told me this. I tried to imagine what wicked man my grandpa must have been (for I never met him) so that his own family celebrates his death. I tried. I really did try to imagine, but I couldn't.
It made me sad...but also it made me happy in a grotesque way because after the dead of his father my father could come together with his family again. His mother, his three brothers and his two sisters.
So in the end I'm happy and excited and I just can't wait to meet my new grandma and my aunts and my uncles and my cousins <33
Can't wait to see them.
...And never let it be that you become a wicked person like my grandpa, so your family is actually happy about your death. I think noone should deserve this...:/

AND..I got some sketches. Still need to practice humans...but i dare to say i'm getting better!






Perspective is something hard to handle! DD: >__> I phailed






I was at some kind of medieval market...and at some time I decided to just sit down into the grass and draw something with the pen I found in the car. I was just too lazy to walk around.......@__@
It didn't last long and I had a bunch of children standing around me :/ "Draw me a T-rex!!1!!!" THIS is the result XD




Drawing humans from behind is...EVIL...:/
Translation of the text:
"And you're sure, you know where we are..?" 
"Shut up..."
"And you have the total view of it?"
"Shut up....!"
"And we never ever absolutely got lost?"
"SHUT UP!!"






Some Size-comparison...I love it when it's BIG <333
....does that sound perverted...?




Don't look at the paws....
...eeek...
You did anyways >__> shame on you.


6/19/09 08:28 pm - Entry #5

I
GOT
NEW
HEADPHONES!
No I can go outside and walk through the day with my mighty music with me again <3333




 


They both love eacht other <333
And Will (the punk guy) loves to get on Gabriel's (the other guy) nerves <3333


Still need some practice in drawing humans @__@






I bought some new shoes for my feet several days ago. WHITE!
And imediately, I felt the irressistable urge to paint on them:







6/6/09 05:09 pm - Entry #4

It's cold again.
Damn it :/
I wanna go to HAWAII
Or to anywhere were there's WARM >__> Or HOT.
I
HATE
COLD
:/
So okay.

Again, I couldn't manage to kick anything else out of my butt except of sketches, scribbles and crap >__>
May you forgive me.

This time, personal characters, huuge trees, dragons, kids, spaceships, random hoomans and some more.
Still need to improve in doing humans >__>




















 




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